Race walking & other Olympic "sports"

Alright, guys...let me make myself perfectly clear: I could not currently compete in any Olympic "sport," and even with significant dedication and training, I could not participate in 99% of them. But racewalking?!?!? Wtf??? Since when is walking a sport? Granted, trampoline jumping is now an Olympic sport, as well, but at least that requires pretty significant gymnastic skills. Race walking simply requires the desire to walk quickly for 12 miles in a row. Just because something can be considered a "race" does not mean it should be part of the Olympics.

Anyway, I went over to Joseph's last night after happy hour and this was on. We laughed. We poked fun. And then we watched the rest and laughed some more. There was so much material.

1 -There were maybe 15 spectators there...in what Joseph pointed out was the most populous country in the world.

2 - These "athletes" simply walked around an oval track. For 20km, or around 12 mi. How frickin boring is that?!?!

3 - There were officials in scooters who cruised next to them to make sure they didn't "break form," and when they did, they were shown a red paddle. I don't know what the red paddles do to your time or how many you can get before you're disqualified or any details, but that's pretty damn lame if you ask me.

4 - These girls all weighed about 100 lbs or less, which seems odd considering the marathon runners appeared to be much healthier weights. Maybe it has something to do with muscle mass?

5 - The walker from Belarus tried to make herself puke at least 5 times that I saw in the 30 minutes that I watched. The commentators kept saying that it was because she had probably ingested too many fluids, but then she stopped at every water station to drink.

6 - The final lap was done in the official stadium...presumably to spare the paying spectators from having to endure over an hour of watching these "athletes" noodle around a track.

7 - After finishing the "race," several of the "athletes" simply collapsed from exhaustion and laid down on the track, forcing other walkers to step over them. Now, we all know that I'm no fitness role model, but I have attended the Chicago Half Marathon, and watched several of my friends finish RUNNING 13.1 miles without collapsing onto the ground.

There are just so many more things that I have to say. But the moral of the story is: apparently if you lobby hard enough, you can turn damn near anything into an Olympic sport. I'm training right now for Olympic Wild Turkey Drinking, Olympic Electric Sliding, Olympic Gang Sign Throwing, and Olympic Rock, Paper, Scissors (thanks, Brent). I'm hoping to medal in at least 3 events. See you in London, bitches!